Holiday Season - time to unwind or time for excess stress and debt?

The holiday season for many people is a time to draw the year end to a close with celebration.  A time when some go on holiday to warm, sunny places, while others gather around fireplaces with family and friends to share time with each other.

In days of old, before television, and shopping centres, this time of year was anticipated with joy and excitement.  Gifts were exchanged, usually home made and from the heart.  Many times gatherings were more about cooking and eating together than what may be under the tree.

I needed to go with my son to purchase him some needed clothing yesterday.  We knew what he wanted and had a couple of stores in mind.  I guess I should have thought about the fact that it was a Sunday afternoon on December 12th before embarking on that excursion. By the look of the fully packed parking lot at the shopping centre, it was clearly apparent that the holidays have obviously become far more about shopping and spending, than being a time to relax, recollect on the past year and prepare for the new year.

I don't know when it became so popular to need to purchase so much, for the sake of a date on the calendar. When I was very young, my family didn't have tons of money growing up, so my sisters and I would anticipate all year for Christmas to come so we could have new toys or clothes.  Perhaps that is the story of many adults that still, to this day, feel the need to give everyone they love gifts.  Perhaps we feel cheap if we don't, because everyone else is shopping, spending and giving.  I know I have totally felt that sentiment.  Although I am not a big consumer,  the holiday season still makes me feel like I should be buying gifts. Some habits just never go away.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing the gift giving tradition but I do dislike when people who don't necessarily have the means, feel pressured to dip into savings and credit cards in order to fulfil some sort of social norm.  It is a common dilemma, and it is very uncomfortable to say ''sorry, I am totally broke this year and I really shouldn't be spending on anything that isn't neccessary.''  A person should never need to apologize for not spending and buying.  The way one deals with their finances and when and for whom they shop is purely their business.

This social pressure also adds so much extra stress in a time when it should be ''down time'' and a time to reflect.  When a person that usually needs to commute every day, punch in and punch out, finally gets their 2 weeks of vacation, it should be a chance to slow down and relax.  By the exhausted look on many shopper's faces yesterday, it didn't seem like a time to slow down.

My 18 year old son, after 3 stores and trying on a few pairs of jeans and sweaters was already yawning and saying that he was tired of shopping.  I laughed out loud, the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree does it?

This holiday season, think about if you really need to spend so much of your time and money on the ''social pressures'' of putting on the big ''show and decor'' or if perhaps you can start easing out of those old habits that we all grew up with, and be a bit more minimalist and relaxed and celebrate with simplicity.

Happy Holidays

How Catered Meals Can Save Time, Money, and Your Waistline

   I like to cook, when I decide to make the time to do so.  My particular career keeps me in the recording studio during lunchtime and suppertime. My family on the other hand keeps regular hours from 8-5. My husband does not like to cook, or rather he is tired when he gets home and lacks the inspiration and motivation to prepare a dinner.  As for my 17-year-old, computer-obsessed son....let's just say he is most likely not going to become a chef. Which leaves me to pretty much do 95% of the cooking in the home.  Which usually only happens for weekend dinners.  The rest of the week was becoming McDonald's for my husband and son, and a bag of chips and a few handfuls of almonds for my supper. Yuck! It is very expensive and not great for slimming down.

  There have been times that I get inspired and purchase groceries with the all-good intention to cook them into tasty dinners....and then the meat gets frozen, the vegetables end up in the garbage and the rice stays on the shelf.  It just isn't something that I want to spend my free time on.  I would rather compose a song than cook. Enter...Caterer!

  I feel fortunate that just down the road from where I live, there is a little gourmet restaurant that caters to meals for families. They offer a Monday to Friday dinner service with both regular and gourmet menus.  For one person you can order your week's meals for $22.  For a week of meals for a family, it costs $87 tax included.  That is cheaper than a bag of groceries from my local grocery store, and I don't need to prepare anything. The food is all fresh and the meals are balanced with vegetable proteins and starch in very good portions. It certainly beats the crap out of a bag of chips or McDonalds by a long shot!  I am almost positive that there are services like this all over,  If there is one in my small town in Quebec, I am sure that anybody could find one where they live.

  Since I have been purchasing these meals, I have actually lost 4 pounds, (in 2 weeks) just by merely having a real dinner to eat at night.  Our weekly food bill is lower, and we are all happy with supper.  Perhaps one would ask, "Why then don't you just cook all of your week's meals on Sunday yourself?" I would reply, "I choose to spend my Sunday doing things I love with my husband, and standing over a stove all day is not one of them." It is about my priorities on personal time and enjoyment.

 If you find yourself in the same dinnertime dilemma as I was in,  seek out a caterer that has a weekly meal service and see if it fits into your budget and dietary tastes.  It has been working wonderfully for us so far and anything that saves time and money is right up my alley.

How My Career Started With Middle C

Her name was Mrs. Hicks. She sat me down at the grand piano in her small living room that was painted with pale, lime green walls. I was there for my first piano lesson. She was old, very, very old. Perhaps she was in her late sixties, but in the eyes of a young girl, she was a fossil. She put my first piano book onto the music rest and pressed the seam so it would stay open on the piano. She then proceeded to show me my first note. Middle C. The note rang out like a church bell on that huge instrument. I think my first song consisted of two notes C in the right hand and B in the left.

When I finally was liberated from my 30 minute lesson, which seemed eternally long, I got back home and I sped downstairs to the old piano in our basement. I played the little song, I found it extremely dull. I wanted to really play a song. So, I proceeded to make up songs. I played, and played, figuring out how to make the notes come together and create nice melodies, far more interesting than C-B-C, C-B-C. Thus began the process of weekly lessons and the daily practice of boring songs followed by my own inventions.  In a short period of time my daily inventions began to take all of my playing time, and the only time my piano book saw the light of day, was in the living room of old Mrs. Hicks. She was exasperated with me. I could not play the songs she had assigned. I remember a comment she wrote on one of the pages of my book. It read: I can't be bothered with this child! My mother could not understand, she heard me play all of the time, and she thought it sounded pretty good.

I almost quit that year. My mother in her wisdom sought out a new and more flexible teacher that taught me what I needed to learn while still allowing me to create. Afterwards I studied with a few different teachers, and they all propelled me forward year after year until I finished all of my levels in The Royal Conservatory of Music piano program. Mrs. Hicks was a good teacher, I must give her that credit. She just wasn't very patient with children that didn't practice what she had assigned.

During my time learning piano, my mother allowed me to learn other instruments. I learned violin and the flute. We had a guitar at home that I learned to play on. I had sung in church for as long as I could remember and around thirteen years of age I began to write more songs, ones with lyrics that I could sing.  In later years I learned to play the drums and produce, arrange songs and do sound engineering.

My life has always revolved around music. From the time I was eighteen years old, up until this day, I have always taught others my craft. Sometimes along with teaching music, life's circumstances had led me to occasional different jobs, I have been a waitress, vacuum saleswoman, retail store clerk, sound engineer,  house musician and entertainer, cosmetician, music school director, elementary school English and Science teacher.I have many stories to tell about those different life experiences and the people that I met during those times, but that will come later.

Eventually through some fortunate events and hard work, I finally opened my present recording and teaching studio. I am back being a self-employed entrepreneur full time. One of the ways I have streamlined my day and schedule is through adopting the principles or ideas of minimalism. Stripping away the superfluous things in life and leaving only what is truly meaningful and important.

That is what this website is about, the why and how-to, to get rid of what is weighing you down, so that you can discover and live from your passion. Mine is music, yours may be something completely different. It may be travel or painting. Maybe it is cooking or writing. Perhaps you love getting out and meeting new people and that is what you are most passionate about. Whatever your dreams and passions are, I hope that you may find a little bit of life inspiration from my words.

Until then, think of what you truly love. If you could do anything you wanted, without restraint, what would you spend your day doing?

What If I Fail?

                          

                            

Atychiphobia, is the fear of failure. It is an overwhelming fear of shame and ridicule. As a vocal coach, I see so many of my clients come into the studio and from the first moment we meet, they are already telling me how they don't sing well, and they are "pretty bad". It is clear, that they are preparing themselves for potential critique that may hurt, so they are already criticizing  themselves ahead of time, to soften the "blow". (Thank you Simon Cowell from American Idol). From my experience, most people are not as bad as they think they are. Many times it is a question of a bit of directed practice to help them improve greatly. Most of all, some sincere encouragement makes the biggest difference.

Sharing our talents or just opening up our thoughts and feelings to others is such a personal thing for us. It is almost like stripping down naked in front of everyone to ask if your body measures up to some ideal that society has previously dictated. This fear of being "measured" leads many people to avoid trying, to avoid the potential awful feeling of failure. The only way that we can achieve the things we dream of, is if we expose ourselves to that potential feeling of not measuring up. It is scary, but if we don't get out of that comfort zone and  "just go for it" we may as well stay in the same static state for the rest of our days.

This same fear, creeps into almost every aspect of our lives that we wish to make big changes in. We may want to change careers, start a new business, develop a talent, ask a really awesome person out on a date. Whatever it may be, we are often stopped in our tracks by the thoughts of "what may happen", or "what if it doesn't work”?

We have all heard the saying, "if you don't try, you will never succeed". Such simple advice, but so many of us stand still, because trying and failing would just "suck"and it doesn't feel good when we feel that we "suck". The truth is, that you will probably "suck" the first time you try something anyway, maybe even the second or third times too! The important thing is that you can count those times as experience and move forward. We always learn a little from our losses.

When that fear of failing strikes, a great thing to do is to realize that even if you feel like the whole world may laugh at you, or ridicule you, at least you "went for it" which is a lot more than you can say for so many others. You truly are a winner for aiming for your dreams. The first step to changing any aspect of your life, is just "going for it!" So, don't be afraid to suck, we all do from time to time. That's just part of being human.

Never quit trying to aim for your greatest dreams, eventually you will hit the target!

x

Do You Live For The Weekend?

If you spend your time wishing your day would pass quickly just to make it to Friday, QUIT YOUR JOB!
Basically, it is like wishing to get to the end of your life sooner so you can rest in peace. How sad.

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied, is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work, is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."  - Steve Jobs

(Although it is easier said than done, living your passion and dreams can be a reality.)

    Perhaps it was only me that was passing the precious minutes, hours and days of my life here on earth trying to numb my brain and the chatter around me just to make it through my week until Friday at 4:00 PM. About two years ago, I was teaching full-time in an elementary school. It had already been seven years at that school and I definitely did not want to live in the moment or enjoy any awareness of my time from Monday to Friday between 8 AM and 4 PM. I never turned to substances to numb myself, except at night after work a very large glass of red wine was in order. Trust me, if I could have had that glass of wine on the job, I would have had a stash of bottles in my desk! 

     You see, I was in a job that I extremely hated.  I love teaching.  I am a born teacher, I enjoy sharing ideas with people in a way that they can understand and then apply to their lives. I thrive when I am one on one with a student or client. On the other side of that, I am an introvert, who needs calm and silence very often. I need time with my thoughts, I need time alone. In hindsight, the school environment with its buzzing action and kids and teachers around me constantly was toxic to me. I realize my job was slowly killing my dreams, my energy and even my relationship. It was killing me. I lost my joy, I lost my will to enjoy every moment. I was not depressed though. It was the job. When the weekend came I beamed with happiness.

MY DIARY

Although I am not extremely proud to share some actual diary excerpts, These are notes I had taken in the mornings right before I got into class. Just to give you a glimpse of how I needed to get out. And I knew it. By the way, the kids were not that horrible, I was just in the wrong job. (And yes, some kids could be major spoiled brats too.)

Monday- Shit Show (05/05/2014)

    I am suffering anxiety about working with these horrible kids. I'm burnt out. Literally I'm on the verge of crying. I can't take their faces any more. They laugh at you when you try to discipline them. God help me this week!

Thursday...One more day to go!(09/05/2014)

   I can't wait....almost done work and there is just Friday left!!! How can you tell I'm tired of working. More like, I tired of coming to work. I wish I did something else.

A change in career or something else like that. I've been saying it for a long time....the only thing holding me back is fatigue. Kids tire me out. The action here tires me out, perhaps the lack of money tires me out.

Tuesday, feels like it should be Thursday (13/05/2014)

    I am tired today. I feel like I should be still in bed. I guess I am loathing going into grade 3. It's unfortunate, but those kids ruin my week.

Interesting news though, The principal asked me how I get along with another one of my colleagues. The only reason behind that, that I can see is, she wants me for grades 1&2 next year. Of course I won't say anything to anyone for many reasons. The main one being that at this point it is pure speculation anyway and speculation is worth nothing.

I am thinking about it though....do I really want to be with grades 1&2? They are stressful. Little kids are ALL stressful.

Sigh.....change of career much? I'm thinking about that too.

LESSON LEARNED

The reason I am sharing this, is that when I was going through my Evernote this morning, I came across those entries. I was astonished at how my life has changed since then, and how I am at peace now in living my true passion again.

-I dreamed of waking up when I was ready in the morning, not with an alarm clock...done.

-I dreamed of working one on one with clients...done. 

-I dreamed of no longer needing to commute to work in the mornings....done. 

-I dreamed of earning an income that showed what my time was truly worth...done. 

-I dreamed of being my own boss again and making free time for myself....done.

I am back to enjoying my life again. I savour every weekday moment the same as I do the weekend. 

I am aware of how awesome every day is and how it is full of endless possibilities. 

Yes, I am tired at the end of a day. Working sometimes is hard, and I need to manage many things. I work 9 hours a day like everyone else, many times even 12 or 13 hours without supper or a break. But I am happy, because I am doing what I have decided I want to do. 

There are ways to get out of a job you are in if it is causing you to wish only for the weekend to come. There are ways to cultivate your passion and live by it. 

I will explain in future posts how I did it, and how others have accomplished it too. 

I want to inspire you to ask yourself these questions...

Do I live for 5PM? Do I live so the weekend will arrive? Do I love what I do so much that I feel like it's not really work? If I could do anything for my living, what would I be doing?

Even if you feel strangled and stuck in your job, you can start to plan your way out. Then you can

start living for the joy of every day, not just for the weekend to come. 

Labels Suck! Why I don't put labels on people.

People often define themselves by their careers, religious beliefs, eating habits, hobbies and anything else that they do. Often the conversation goes like this when you meet somebody; "Hi my name is (fill in the blank) I am a (computer analyst, bank teller, school teacher, dancer, artist, musician, scientist, doctor, and the list goes on. ) Then they often proceed to speak of their other facets of life such as , "I am a vegan, or I am a (Buddhist, Christian or Atheist.)" I am an avid "(scrapbooker, basketball player, or fisherman.)"

There is a flaw in this type of conversation. There is not enough space on a label to truly define all that we are. Most of all, labels set us up to some sort of set of rules, beliefs or standards that we somehow must adhere to in order to continue to authentically "wear the label".

I enjoy listening to podcasts on minimalism and organization. One podcast in particular shares ideas about minimalist living and making one's life more meaningful. There is a segment of phone questions that they answer. It astounds me every time that I hear callers ask "How can I be a better minimalist?" or "When can I truly call myself a minimalist?" When were there ever rules on how to "be" a minimalist? I have never heard of them, yet so many are in the search for the "rules" so that they may be able to wear the label with pride. Then they can finally feel like they belong to part of a group or movement.

By the applying of a label to ourselves we are then either doing it the right way or the wrong way.   For example, a person who is now a "vegan" must never eat anything that has an animal product in it or they can kiss their vegan identity goodbye. They will not feel like they belong 100% to the "movement" anymore.  A Minimalist can't own too many things, (how ever many things that is, I don't know) but if there is clutter in their home, according to some minimalist standard, then they are not a minimalist, they are a failed minimalist or better yet..."On a journey." That one kills me every time. It is not a journey, it is a set of ideas that you could apply to parts or all of your life if you like them. There is no specific path or ending.

When we define ourselves by our employment we then lose our identity if we change jobs or careers. If we define ourselves by religious beliefs, we will most likely feel unworthy of the title if we happen to be human and not perfect. (That is just a personal peeve of mine for many reasons.)

There is no right or wrong way to define the things that make you who you are.  The list of talents, personal beliefs and the types of jobs that you may do throughout your life are numerous. They may change often or remain static until the end of your days.  It is your life. There is only one you.  Avoid putting yourself in a box with a label on it. You are so much more than that.

So, to finish I will tell you about myself.  I shall avoid labels, and in doing so, I think I give a much more accurate picture of the things I love at the moment and some of my talents and passions.

Hello, my name is Jennifer, I am a person who is interested in many different things like writing, music, and reading. I try to keep a pretty tidy home and have an organized life. I like spending time alone and writing or reading a good book. I suppose one could say I display an introverted personality.  I have cultivated my talents in music throughout my life and I enjoy playing various instruments, piano being my primary instrument.  I have also developed my ability to sing and write songs, having used those abilities to earn a living. 
I own a recording and teaching studio for my work. Religion does not interest me, but I enjoy learning about spirituality. I love animals and have two lazy cats and three spunky dogs. 
I live with an amazing man who I love dearly and who would give me the shirt off of his back, and actually has done so.  I have a wonderful son who I think the world of and I love him to pieces. 

Perhaps you may think of the many facets that shape your unique life and the next time someone asks about you, you will be able to paint a very true picture of who you really are.

- Cheers

Could Online Shopping Be Good For Your Time and Budget?

Let me start by saying that I greatly dislike shopping. I do not like taking precious time from my day to drive to the store or several stores to find what I need. I do not appreciate being in crowds, searching through the aisles of products, being tempted to stray from my shopping list by items that are strategically placed on sale in front of me, and even being harassed by salespeople of the daily deals in store and the other suggestions to look at new arrivals. The only exceptions are if I would need to purchase something that I need immediately and can't wait for shipping, or I need to purchase an expensive item like a new laptop or musical instrument and comparing models and checking out the product physically would be necessary.
 
In the quest for simplicity, financial organization, and time management, I have found that often, online shopping  helps me quickly find what I need to purchase, stick to my budget and shopping list, and most of all save on precious time that could be spent doing things I love like reading or creating music.

So, how can something that has often been vilified when it comes to trying to save money and trying budget, actually help me? When I have a list and I want to stick to it, it is a lot easier to go straight to the item on Amazon, or a store that has shipping, and just search it, pick it out and pay. Easy! A recent example of this is a perfume that my husband wanted. He ran out and mentioned a name of a sample that he had tried and would like to have. Instead of searching several stores, I went on Amazon (I have prime with 2 day free shipping) I found the perfume, I checked to see if the price compared with other online stores. Voila, click, buy, and receive to my doorstep two days later.  I always try to use pay pal linked to my bank account so every purchase is a debit from my account, not credit. If I must use credit, I make the payment to my credit card immediately. This helps me with sticking to what I really planned on buying too. How many times have you been in a store to buy one thing, only to exit with an extra item just because it was on sale?

I shop for my groceries online quite often too. The first time I told my husband that he would need to stop by the store and pick up our order on the way home from work, he replied, "well, that's kind of lazy isn't it, why didn't you go to the store, instead of getting the store to prepare your order? That is a weird way to shop for food. After all, it is your day off from working in the studio. "Exactly! It is my day off...why ever would I want to spend any part of my day off in a grocery store? I would rather sit at my laptop with my cup of coffee, dogs by my feet in my slippers and order it all from home. Grocery stores with online shopping actually allow you to save lists too. So you can re-purchase the essentials weekly if you wish. I can also just shop all of the deals in the flyer if I want. I can also see my total as I shop so I can budget better, and then look over my virtual cart and remove things that I realize perhaps I don't need yet. I can get up from my computer and look in the fridge to see if I forgot something too. The thing I like best, is I can make a list and completely stick to that list, no free samples to try and then decide on the moment to buy, no smell of freshly baked bread to entice me. I can actually grocery shop while I am hungry and not come out of it with more than I had first planned.

Sometimes I purchase pharmacy items online too. Once again, I can choose my shampoo, conditioner, facial cleansers, q-tips, mascara, candles, even headache remedies and any other item you may find in a drugstore, online. It once again keeps me on my list, on budget and most of all saves me the time of driving and shopping.  I almost always come out of the pharmacy over budget and this way I don't. It takes discipline to only buy what you went into the store to buy. Many times I would buy something I am going to need soon, just to avoid going back to the store in a week. Online shopping helps me buy only what I need when I need it.

Clothing is a difficult one, especially something that you would need to try on. I have a hard time finding anything that fits well. That is probably why I dislike clothes shopping so much. Usually when I need shoes or something that needs trying on, I set aside a time during the week and purposely go out in search of what I need. I can't say that I like doing that very much though, but I just can't imagine ordering shoes online. I guess I could. Perhaps one day when I need some, I will try.  I don't own many articles of clothing, but recently I needed a couple of new hoodies because my old ones were getting pretty ratty looking. I knew what I was looking for and the brand that I know fits me really nicely, but I would have had to drive about 30 or 40 minutes to go the store that I wanted the clothing from, then drive another 30 or 40 minutes back. That is a lot of time driving just for a hoodie or two. Thus, once again an online purchase was in order. In two days I got my clothing with free shipping because I had purchased 2 items. They are exactly what I wanted and needed.

 Through online shopping I saved my time, mental sanity by avoiding crowds, I stuck to my list and budget, and saved on gas and driving time. I also got to read several chapters in a book that I am in to lately, write a blog post and drink a few cups of coffee all in the comfort of my wonderful home. May I also mention that it is minus 30 degrees below zero Celsius here, and the thought of going out shopping for me really sucks at the moment. Perhaps if you asked me during the summer, I may even find it fun to go walking though a farmer's market to buy fresh vegetables for supper. I would appreciate the lovely drive to the store that is 40 minutes away. There are certainly times that going out and doing the physical shopping may be pleasant, but one thing is certain, online shopping is a pretty good time and money saver in many circumstances.

Do you online shop? Has it been a help or a hindrance to your time and budget?