Atychiphobia, is the fear of failure. It is an overwhelming fear of shame and ridicule. As a vocal coach, I see so many of my clients come into the studio and from the first moment we meet, they are already telling me how they don't sing well, and they are "pretty bad". It is clear, that they are preparing themselves for potential critique that may hurt, so they are already criticizing themselves ahead of time, to soften the "blow". (Thank you Simon Cowell from American Idol). From my experience, most people are not as bad as they think they are. Many times it is a question of a bit of directed practice to help them improve greatly. Most of all, some sincere encouragement makes the biggest difference.
Sharing our talents or just opening up our thoughts and feelings to others is such a personal thing for us. It is almost like stripping down naked in front of everyone to ask if your body measures up to some ideal that society has previously dictated. This fear of being "measured" leads many people to avoid trying, to avoid the potential awful feeling of failure. The only way that we can achieve the things we dream of, is if we expose ourselves to that potential feeling of not measuring up. It is scary, but if we don't get out of that comfort zone and "just go for it" we may as well stay in the same static state for the rest of our days.
This same fear, creeps into almost every aspect of our lives that we wish to make big changes in. We may want to change careers, start a new business, develop a talent, ask a really awesome person out on a date. Whatever it may be, we are often stopped in our tracks by the thoughts of "what may happen", or "what if it doesn't work”?
We have all heard the saying, "if you don't try, you will never succeed". Such simple advice, but so many of us stand still, because trying and failing would just "suck"and it doesn't feel good when we feel that we "suck". The truth is, that you will probably "suck" the first time you try something anyway, maybe even the second or third times too! The important thing is that you can count those times as experience and move forward. We always learn a little from our losses.
When that fear of failing strikes, a great thing to do is to realize that even if you feel like the whole world may laugh at you, or ridicule you, at least you "went for it" which is a lot more than you can say for so many others. You truly are a winner for aiming for your dreams. The first step to changing any aspect of your life, is just "going for it!" So, don't be afraid to suck, we all do from time to time. That's just part of being human.
Never quit trying to aim for your greatest dreams, eventually you will hit the target!
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