If you spend your time wishing your day would pass quickly just to make it to Friday, QUIT YOUR JOB!
Basically, it is like wishing to get to the end of your life sooner so you can rest in peace. How sad.
"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied, is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work, is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it." - Steve Jobs
(Although it is easier said than done, living your passion and dreams can be a reality.)
Perhaps it was only me that was passing the precious minutes, hours and days of my life here on earth trying to numb my brain and the chatter around me just to make it through my week until Friday at 4:00 PM. About two years ago, I was teaching full-time in an elementary school. It had already been seven years at that school and I definitely did not want to live in the moment or enjoy any awareness of my time from Monday to Friday between 8 AM and 4 PM. I never turned to substances to numb myself, except at night after work a very large glass of red wine was in order. Trust me, if I could have had that glass of wine on the job, I would have had a stash of bottles in my desk!
You see, I was in a job that I extremely hated. I love teaching. I am a born teacher, I enjoy sharing ideas with people in a way that they can understand and then apply to their lives. I thrive when I am one on one with a student or client. On the other side of that, I am an introvert, who needs calm and silence very often. I need time with my thoughts, I need time alone. In hindsight, the school environment with its buzzing action and kids and teachers around me constantly was toxic to me. I realize my job was slowly killing my dreams, my energy and even my relationship. It was killing me. I lost my joy, I lost my will to enjoy every moment. I was not depressed though. It was the job. When the weekend came I beamed with happiness.
MY DIARY
Although I am not extremely proud to share some actual diary excerpts, These are notes I had taken in the mornings right before I got into class. Just to give you a glimpse of how I needed to get out. And I knew it. By the way, the kids were not that horrible, I was just in the wrong job. (And yes, some kids could be major spoiled brats too.)
Monday- Shit Show (05/05/2014)
I am suffering anxiety about working with these horrible kids. I'm burnt out. Literally I'm on the verge of crying. I can't take their faces any more. They laugh at you when you try to discipline them. God help me this week!
Thursday...One more day to go!(09/05/2014)
I can't wait....almost done work and there is just Friday left!!! How can you tell I'm tired of working. More like, I tired of coming to work. I wish I did something else.
A change in career or something else like that. I've been saying it for a long time....the only thing holding me back is fatigue. Kids tire me out. The action here tires me out, perhaps the lack of money tires me out.
Tuesday, feels like it should be Thursday (13/05/2014)
I am tired today. I feel like I should be still in bed. I guess I am loathing going into grade 3. It's unfortunate, but those kids ruin my week.
Interesting news though, The principal asked me how I get along with another one of my colleagues. The only reason behind that, that I can see is, she wants me for grades 1&2 next year. Of course I won't say anything to anyone for many reasons. The main one being that at this point it is pure speculation anyway and speculation is worth nothing.
I am thinking about it though....do I really want to be with grades 1&2? They are stressful. Little kids are ALL stressful.
Sigh.....change of career much? I'm thinking about that too.
LESSON LEARNED
The reason I am sharing this, is that when I was going through my Evernote this morning, I came across those entries. I was astonished at how my life has changed since then, and how I am at peace now in living my true passion again.
-I dreamed of waking up when I was ready in the morning, not with an alarm clock...done.
-I dreamed of working one on one with clients...done.
-I dreamed of no longer needing to commute to work in the mornings....done.
-I dreamed of earning an income that showed what my time was truly worth...done.
-I dreamed of being my own boss again and making free time for myself....done.
I am back to enjoying my life again. I savour every weekday moment the same as I do the weekend.
I am aware of how awesome every day is and how it is full of endless possibilities.
Yes, I am tired at the end of a day. Working sometimes is hard, and I need to manage many things. I work 9 hours a day like everyone else, many times even 12 or 13 hours without supper or a break. But I am happy, because I am doing what I have decided I want to do.
There are ways to get out of a job you are in if it is causing you to wish only for the weekend to come. There are ways to cultivate your passion and live by it.
I will explain in future posts how I did it, and how others have accomplished it too.
I want to inspire you to ask yourself these questions...
Do I live for 5PM? Do I live so the weekend will arrive? Do I love what I do so much that I feel like it's not really work? If I could do anything for my living, what would I be doing?
Even if you feel strangled and stuck in your job, you can start to plan your way out. Then you can
start living for the joy of every day, not just for the weekend to come.
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