Holiday Season - time to unwind or time for excess stress and debt?

The holiday season for many people is a time to draw the year end to a close with celebration.  A time when some go on holiday to warm, sunny places, while others gather around fireplaces with family and friends to share time with each other.

In days of old, before television, and shopping centres, this time of year was anticipated with joy and excitement.  Gifts were exchanged, usually home made and from the heart.  Many times gatherings were more about cooking and eating together than what may be under the tree.

I needed to go with my son to purchase him some needed clothing yesterday.  We knew what he wanted and had a couple of stores in mind.  I guess I should have thought about the fact that it was a Sunday afternoon on December 12th before embarking on that excursion. By the look of the fully packed parking lot at the shopping centre, it was clearly apparent that the holidays have obviously become far more about shopping and spending, than being a time to relax, recollect on the past year and prepare for the new year.

I don't know when it became so popular to need to purchase so much, for the sake of a date on the calendar. When I was very young, my family didn't have tons of money growing up, so my sisters and I would anticipate all year for Christmas to come so we could have new toys or clothes.  Perhaps that is the story of many adults that still, to this day, feel the need to give everyone they love gifts.  Perhaps we feel cheap if we don't, because everyone else is shopping, spending and giving.  I know I have totally felt that sentiment.  Although I am not a big consumer,  the holiday season still makes me feel like I should be buying gifts. Some habits just never go away.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing the gift giving tradition but I do dislike when people who don't necessarily have the means, feel pressured to dip into savings and credit cards in order to fulfil some sort of social norm.  It is a common dilemma, and it is very uncomfortable to say ''sorry, I am totally broke this year and I really shouldn't be spending on anything that isn't neccessary.''  A person should never need to apologize for not spending and buying.  The way one deals with their finances and when and for whom they shop is purely their business.

This social pressure also adds so much extra stress in a time when it should be ''down time'' and a time to reflect.  When a person that usually needs to commute every day, punch in and punch out, finally gets their 2 weeks of vacation, it should be a chance to slow down and relax.  By the exhausted look on many shopper's faces yesterday, it didn't seem like a time to slow down.

My 18 year old son, after 3 stores and trying on a few pairs of jeans and sweaters was already yawning and saying that he was tired of shopping.  I laughed out loud, the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree does it?

This holiday season, think about if you really need to spend so much of your time and money on the ''social pressures'' of putting on the big ''show and decor'' or if perhaps you can start easing out of those old habits that we all grew up with, and be a bit more minimalist and relaxed and celebrate with simplicity.

Happy Holidays

How Catered Meals Can Save Time, Money, and Your Waistline

   I like to cook, when I decide to make the time to do so.  My particular career keeps me in the recording studio during lunchtime and suppertime. My family on the other hand keeps regular hours from 8-5. My husband does not like to cook, or rather he is tired when he gets home and lacks the inspiration and motivation to prepare a dinner.  As for my 17-year-old, computer-obsessed son....let's just say he is most likely not going to become a chef. Which leaves me to pretty much do 95% of the cooking in the home.  Which usually only happens for weekend dinners.  The rest of the week was becoming McDonald's for my husband and son, and a bag of chips and a few handfuls of almonds for my supper. Yuck! It is very expensive and not great for slimming down.

  There have been times that I get inspired and purchase groceries with the all-good intention to cook them into tasty dinners....and then the meat gets frozen, the vegetables end up in the garbage and the rice stays on the shelf.  It just isn't something that I want to spend my free time on.  I would rather compose a song than cook. Enter...Caterer!

  I feel fortunate that just down the road from where I live, there is a little gourmet restaurant that caters to meals for families. They offer a Monday to Friday dinner service with both regular and gourmet menus.  For one person you can order your week's meals for $22.  For a week of meals for a family, it costs $87 tax included.  That is cheaper than a bag of groceries from my local grocery store, and I don't need to prepare anything. The food is all fresh and the meals are balanced with vegetable proteins and starch in very good portions. It certainly beats the crap out of a bag of chips or McDonalds by a long shot!  I am almost positive that there are services like this all over,  If there is one in my small town in Quebec, I am sure that anybody could find one where they live.

  Since I have been purchasing these meals, I have actually lost 4 pounds, (in 2 weeks) just by merely having a real dinner to eat at night.  Our weekly food bill is lower, and we are all happy with supper.  Perhaps one would ask, "Why then don't you just cook all of your week's meals on Sunday yourself?" I would reply, "I choose to spend my Sunday doing things I love with my husband, and standing over a stove all day is not one of them." It is about my priorities on personal time and enjoyment.

 If you find yourself in the same dinnertime dilemma as I was in,  seek out a caterer that has a weekly meal service and see if it fits into your budget and dietary tastes.  It has been working wonderfully for us so far and anything that saves time and money is right up my alley.

How My Career Started With Middle C

Her name was Mrs. Hicks. She sat me down at the grand piano in her small living room that was painted with pale, lime green walls. I was there for my first piano lesson. She was old, very, very old. Perhaps she was in her late sixties, but in the eyes of a young girl, she was a fossil. She put my first piano book onto the music rest and pressed the seam so it would stay open on the piano. She then proceeded to show me my first note. Middle C. The note rang out like a church bell on that huge instrument. I think my first song consisted of two notes C in the right hand and B in the left.

When I finally was liberated from my 30 minute lesson, which seemed eternally long, I got back home and I sped downstairs to the old piano in our basement. I played the little song, I found it extremely dull. I wanted to really play a song. So, I proceeded to make up songs. I played, and played, figuring out how to make the notes come together and create nice melodies, far more interesting than C-B-C, C-B-C. Thus began the process of weekly lessons and the daily practice of boring songs followed by my own inventions.  In a short period of time my daily inventions began to take all of my playing time, and the only time my piano book saw the light of day, was in the living room of old Mrs. Hicks. She was exasperated with me. I could not play the songs she had assigned. I remember a comment she wrote on one of the pages of my book. It read: I can't be bothered with this child! My mother could not understand, she heard me play all of the time, and she thought it sounded pretty good.

I almost quit that year. My mother in her wisdom sought out a new and more flexible teacher that taught me what I needed to learn while still allowing me to create. Afterwards I studied with a few different teachers, and they all propelled me forward year after year until I finished all of my levels in The Royal Conservatory of Music piano program. Mrs. Hicks was a good teacher, I must give her that credit. She just wasn't very patient with children that didn't practice what she had assigned.

During my time learning piano, my mother allowed me to learn other instruments. I learned violin and the flute. We had a guitar at home that I learned to play on. I had sung in church for as long as I could remember and around thirteen years of age I began to write more songs, ones with lyrics that I could sing.  In later years I learned to play the drums and produce, arrange songs and do sound engineering.

My life has always revolved around music. From the time I was eighteen years old, up until this day, I have always taught others my craft. Sometimes along with teaching music, life's circumstances had led me to occasional different jobs, I have been a waitress, vacuum saleswoman, retail store clerk, sound engineer,  house musician and entertainer, cosmetician, music school director, elementary school English and Science teacher.I have many stories to tell about those different life experiences and the people that I met during those times, but that will come later.

Eventually through some fortunate events and hard work, I finally opened my present recording and teaching studio. I am back being a self-employed entrepreneur full time. One of the ways I have streamlined my day and schedule is through adopting the principles or ideas of minimalism. Stripping away the superfluous things in life and leaving only what is truly meaningful and important.

That is what this website is about, the why and how-to, to get rid of what is weighing you down, so that you can discover and live from your passion. Mine is music, yours may be something completely different. It may be travel or painting. Maybe it is cooking or writing. Perhaps you love getting out and meeting new people and that is what you are most passionate about. Whatever your dreams and passions are, I hope that you may find a little bit of life inspiration from my words.

Until then, think of what you truly love. If you could do anything you wanted, without restraint, what would you spend your day doing?

What If I Fail?

                          

                            

Atychiphobia, is the fear of failure. It is an overwhelming fear of shame and ridicule. As a vocal coach, I see so many of my clients come into the studio and from the first moment we meet, they are already telling me how they don't sing well, and they are "pretty bad". It is clear, that they are preparing themselves for potential critique that may hurt, so they are already criticizing  themselves ahead of time, to soften the "blow". (Thank you Simon Cowell from American Idol). From my experience, most people are not as bad as they think they are. Many times it is a question of a bit of directed practice to help them improve greatly. Most of all, some sincere encouragement makes the biggest difference.

Sharing our talents or just opening up our thoughts and feelings to others is such a personal thing for us. It is almost like stripping down naked in front of everyone to ask if your body measures up to some ideal that society has previously dictated. This fear of being "measured" leads many people to avoid trying, to avoid the potential awful feeling of failure. The only way that we can achieve the things we dream of, is if we expose ourselves to that potential feeling of not measuring up. It is scary, but if we don't get out of that comfort zone and  "just go for it" we may as well stay in the same static state for the rest of our days.

This same fear, creeps into almost every aspect of our lives that we wish to make big changes in. We may want to change careers, start a new business, develop a talent, ask a really awesome person out on a date. Whatever it may be, we are often stopped in our tracks by the thoughts of "what may happen", or "what if it doesn't work”?

We have all heard the saying, "if you don't try, you will never succeed". Such simple advice, but so many of us stand still, because trying and failing would just "suck"and it doesn't feel good when we feel that we "suck". The truth is, that you will probably "suck" the first time you try something anyway, maybe even the second or third times too! The important thing is that you can count those times as experience and move forward. We always learn a little from our losses.

When that fear of failing strikes, a great thing to do is to realize that even if you feel like the whole world may laugh at you, or ridicule you, at least you "went for it" which is a lot more than you can say for so many others. You truly are a winner for aiming for your dreams. The first step to changing any aspect of your life, is just "going for it!" So, don't be afraid to suck, we all do from time to time. That's just part of being human.

Never quit trying to aim for your greatest dreams, eventually you will hit the target!

x

Do You Live For The Weekend?

If you spend your time wishing your day would pass quickly just to make it to Friday, QUIT YOUR JOB!
Basically, it is like wishing to get to the end of your life sooner so you can rest in peace. How sad.

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied, is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work, is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."  - Steve Jobs

(Although it is easier said than done, living your passion and dreams can be a reality.)

    Perhaps it was only me that was passing the precious minutes, hours and days of my life here on earth trying to numb my brain and the chatter around me just to make it through my week until Friday at 4:00 PM. About two years ago, I was teaching full-time in an elementary school. It had already been seven years at that school and I definitely did not want to live in the moment or enjoy any awareness of my time from Monday to Friday between 8 AM and 4 PM. I never turned to substances to numb myself, except at night after work a very large glass of red wine was in order. Trust me, if I could have had that glass of wine on the job, I would have had a stash of bottles in my desk! 

     You see, I was in a job that I extremely hated.  I love teaching.  I am a born teacher, I enjoy sharing ideas with people in a way that they can understand and then apply to their lives. I thrive when I am one on one with a student or client. On the other side of that, I am an introvert, who needs calm and silence very often. I need time with my thoughts, I need time alone. In hindsight, the school environment with its buzzing action and kids and teachers around me constantly was toxic to me. I realize my job was slowly killing my dreams, my energy and even my relationship. It was killing me. I lost my joy, I lost my will to enjoy every moment. I was not depressed though. It was the job. When the weekend came I beamed with happiness.

MY DIARY

Although I am not extremely proud to share some actual diary excerpts, These are notes I had taken in the mornings right before I got into class. Just to give you a glimpse of how I needed to get out. And I knew it. By the way, the kids were not that horrible, I was just in the wrong job. (And yes, some kids could be major spoiled brats too.)

Monday- Shit Show (05/05/2014)

    I am suffering anxiety about working with these horrible kids. I'm burnt out. Literally I'm on the verge of crying. I can't take their faces any more. They laugh at you when you try to discipline them. God help me this week!

Thursday...One more day to go!(09/05/2014)

   I can't wait....almost done work and there is just Friday left!!! How can you tell I'm tired of working. More like, I tired of coming to work. I wish I did something else.

A change in career or something else like that. I've been saying it for a long time....the only thing holding me back is fatigue. Kids tire me out. The action here tires me out, perhaps the lack of money tires me out.

Tuesday, feels like it should be Thursday (13/05/2014)

    I am tired today. I feel like I should be still in bed. I guess I am loathing going into grade 3. It's unfortunate, but those kids ruin my week.

Interesting news though, The principal asked me how I get along with another one of my colleagues. The only reason behind that, that I can see is, she wants me for grades 1&2 next year. Of course I won't say anything to anyone for many reasons. The main one being that at this point it is pure speculation anyway and speculation is worth nothing.

I am thinking about it though....do I really want to be with grades 1&2? They are stressful. Little kids are ALL stressful.

Sigh.....change of career much? I'm thinking about that too.

LESSON LEARNED

The reason I am sharing this, is that when I was going through my Evernote this morning, I came across those entries. I was astonished at how my life has changed since then, and how I am at peace now in living my true passion again.

-I dreamed of waking up when I was ready in the morning, not with an alarm clock...done.

-I dreamed of working one on one with clients...done. 

-I dreamed of no longer needing to commute to work in the mornings....done. 

-I dreamed of earning an income that showed what my time was truly worth...done. 

-I dreamed of being my own boss again and making free time for myself....done.

I am back to enjoying my life again. I savour every weekday moment the same as I do the weekend. 

I am aware of how awesome every day is and how it is full of endless possibilities. 

Yes, I am tired at the end of a day. Working sometimes is hard, and I need to manage many things. I work 9 hours a day like everyone else, many times even 12 or 13 hours without supper or a break. But I am happy, because I am doing what I have decided I want to do. 

There are ways to get out of a job you are in if it is causing you to wish only for the weekend to come. There are ways to cultivate your passion and live by it. 

I will explain in future posts how I did it, and how others have accomplished it too. 

I want to inspire you to ask yourself these questions...

Do I live for 5PM? Do I live so the weekend will arrive? Do I love what I do so much that I feel like it's not really work? If I could do anything for my living, what would I be doing?

Even if you feel strangled and stuck in your job, you can start to plan your way out. Then you can

start living for the joy of every day, not just for the weekend to come. 

Labels Suck! Why I don't put labels on people.

People often define themselves by their careers, religious beliefs, eating habits, hobbies and anything else that they do. Often the conversation goes like this when you meet somebody; "Hi my name is (fill in the blank) I am a (computer analyst, bank teller, school teacher, dancer, artist, musician, scientist, doctor, and the list goes on. ) Then they often proceed to speak of their other facets of life such as , "I am a vegan, or I am a (Buddhist, Christian or Atheist.)" I am an avid "(scrapbooker, basketball player, or fisherman.)"

There is a flaw in this type of conversation. There is not enough space on a label to truly define all that we are. Most of all, labels set us up to some sort of set of rules, beliefs or standards that we somehow must adhere to in order to continue to authentically "wear the label".

I enjoy listening to podcasts on minimalism and organization. One podcast in particular shares ideas about minimalist living and making one's life more meaningful. There is a segment of phone questions that they answer. It astounds me every time that I hear callers ask "How can I be a better minimalist?" or "When can I truly call myself a minimalist?" When were there ever rules on how to "be" a minimalist? I have never heard of them, yet so many are in the search for the "rules" so that they may be able to wear the label with pride. Then they can finally feel like they belong to part of a group or movement.

By the applying of a label to ourselves we are then either doing it the right way or the wrong way.   For example, a person who is now a "vegan" must never eat anything that has an animal product in it or they can kiss their vegan identity goodbye. They will not feel like they belong 100% to the "movement" anymore.  A Minimalist can't own too many things, (how ever many things that is, I don't know) but if there is clutter in their home, according to some minimalist standard, then they are not a minimalist, they are a failed minimalist or better yet..."On a journey." That one kills me every time. It is not a journey, it is a set of ideas that you could apply to parts or all of your life if you like them. There is no specific path or ending.

When we define ourselves by our employment we then lose our identity if we change jobs or careers. If we define ourselves by religious beliefs, we will most likely feel unworthy of the title if we happen to be human and not perfect. (That is just a personal peeve of mine for many reasons.)

There is no right or wrong way to define the things that make you who you are.  The list of talents, personal beliefs and the types of jobs that you may do throughout your life are numerous. They may change often or remain static until the end of your days.  It is your life. There is only one you.  Avoid putting yourself in a box with a label on it. You are so much more than that.

So, to finish I will tell you about myself.  I shall avoid labels, and in doing so, I think I give a much more accurate picture of the things I love at the moment and some of my talents and passions.

Hello, my name is Jennifer, I am a person who is interested in many different things like writing, music, and reading. I try to keep a pretty tidy home and have an organized life. I like spending time alone and writing or reading a good book. I suppose one could say I display an introverted personality.  I have cultivated my talents in music throughout my life and I enjoy playing various instruments, piano being my primary instrument.  I have also developed my ability to sing and write songs, having used those abilities to earn a living. 
I own a recording and teaching studio for my work. Religion does not interest me, but I enjoy learning about spirituality. I love animals and have two lazy cats and three spunky dogs. 
I live with an amazing man who I love dearly and who would give me the shirt off of his back, and actually has done so.  I have a wonderful son who I think the world of and I love him to pieces. 

Perhaps you may think of the many facets that shape your unique life and the next time someone asks about you, you will be able to paint a very true picture of who you really are.

- Cheers

Could Online Shopping Be Good For Your Time and Budget?

Let me start by saying that I greatly dislike shopping. I do not like taking precious time from my day to drive to the store or several stores to find what I need. I do not appreciate being in crowds, searching through the aisles of products, being tempted to stray from my shopping list by items that are strategically placed on sale in front of me, and even being harassed by salespeople of the daily deals in store and the other suggestions to look at new arrivals. The only exceptions are if I would need to purchase something that I need immediately and can't wait for shipping, or I need to purchase an expensive item like a new laptop or musical instrument and comparing models and checking out the product physically would be necessary.
 
In the quest for simplicity, financial organization, and time management, I have found that often, online shopping  helps me quickly find what I need to purchase, stick to my budget and shopping list, and most of all save on precious time that could be spent doing things I love like reading or creating music.

So, how can something that has often been vilified when it comes to trying to save money and trying budget, actually help me? When I have a list and I want to stick to it, it is a lot easier to go straight to the item on Amazon, or a store that has shipping, and just search it, pick it out and pay. Easy! A recent example of this is a perfume that my husband wanted. He ran out and mentioned a name of a sample that he had tried and would like to have. Instead of searching several stores, I went on Amazon (I have prime with 2 day free shipping) I found the perfume, I checked to see if the price compared with other online stores. Voila, click, buy, and receive to my doorstep two days later.  I always try to use pay pal linked to my bank account so every purchase is a debit from my account, not credit. If I must use credit, I make the payment to my credit card immediately. This helps me with sticking to what I really planned on buying too. How many times have you been in a store to buy one thing, only to exit with an extra item just because it was on sale?

I shop for my groceries online quite often too. The first time I told my husband that he would need to stop by the store and pick up our order on the way home from work, he replied, "well, that's kind of lazy isn't it, why didn't you go to the store, instead of getting the store to prepare your order? That is a weird way to shop for food. After all, it is your day off from working in the studio. "Exactly! It is my day off...why ever would I want to spend any part of my day off in a grocery store? I would rather sit at my laptop with my cup of coffee, dogs by my feet in my slippers and order it all from home. Grocery stores with online shopping actually allow you to save lists too. So you can re-purchase the essentials weekly if you wish. I can also just shop all of the deals in the flyer if I want. I can also see my total as I shop so I can budget better, and then look over my virtual cart and remove things that I realize perhaps I don't need yet. I can get up from my computer and look in the fridge to see if I forgot something too. The thing I like best, is I can make a list and completely stick to that list, no free samples to try and then decide on the moment to buy, no smell of freshly baked bread to entice me. I can actually grocery shop while I am hungry and not come out of it with more than I had first planned.

Sometimes I purchase pharmacy items online too. Once again, I can choose my shampoo, conditioner, facial cleansers, q-tips, mascara, candles, even headache remedies and any other item you may find in a drugstore, online. It once again keeps me on my list, on budget and most of all saves me the time of driving and shopping.  I almost always come out of the pharmacy over budget and this way I don't. It takes discipline to only buy what you went into the store to buy. Many times I would buy something I am going to need soon, just to avoid going back to the store in a week. Online shopping helps me buy only what I need when I need it.

Clothing is a difficult one, especially something that you would need to try on. I have a hard time finding anything that fits well. That is probably why I dislike clothes shopping so much. Usually when I need shoes or something that needs trying on, I set aside a time during the week and purposely go out in search of what I need. I can't say that I like doing that very much though, but I just can't imagine ordering shoes online. I guess I could. Perhaps one day when I need some, I will try.  I don't own many articles of clothing, but recently I needed a couple of new hoodies because my old ones were getting pretty ratty looking. I knew what I was looking for and the brand that I know fits me really nicely, but I would have had to drive about 30 or 40 minutes to go the store that I wanted the clothing from, then drive another 30 or 40 minutes back. That is a lot of time driving just for a hoodie or two. Thus, once again an online purchase was in order. In two days I got my clothing with free shipping because I had purchased 2 items. They are exactly what I wanted and needed.

 Through online shopping I saved my time, mental sanity by avoiding crowds, I stuck to my list and budget, and saved on gas and driving time. I also got to read several chapters in a book that I am in to lately, write a blog post and drink a few cups of coffee all in the comfort of my wonderful home. May I also mention that it is minus 30 degrees below zero Celsius here, and the thought of going out shopping for me really sucks at the moment. Perhaps if you asked me during the summer, I may even find it fun to go walking though a farmer's market to buy fresh vegetables for supper. I would appreciate the lovely drive to the store that is 40 minutes away. There are certainly times that going out and doing the physical shopping may be pleasant, but one thing is certain, online shopping is a pretty good time and money saver in many circumstances.

Do you online shop? Has it been a help or a hindrance to your time and budget?

Manage Your Time Like Your Precious Money

If the saying goes "Time is Money" then why do so many of us spend and even waste our time like it doesn't matter? To me my time is the most precious thing I have. Money can be earned if it gets spent, but we can never earn back time. We all have differing amounts of this precious and limited resource that life has given us, but one thing that is static, is that everyone on this planet has the same 24 hours in a day to budget with.

So why not treat our time the same way that we are supposed to manage our finances? These are my top 5 ways to treat our time like money. If we begin treating it like the priceless resource that it is, perhaps we will find that we actually can use it far more wisely than we have been in the past.

1. "Pay yourself first when you get paid"
When we arise in the morning, we start our "time debit account"rolling. The day's events much like the bills that come in, begin to take priority. I suggest that when you arise, you pay at least one hour to yourself, that is one out of twenty-four. It may mean waking an hour earlier than everyone else. (which is hard to do if like me, you are already a zombie in the morning even after a full night's sleep.) But making that extra hour for yourself will start you on creating the life you dream of. And that is exactly what you will do with that "savings" that you are paying yourself with. Take that time to dream of what you want for your life. Make yourself a coffee and read a chapter or two in that book that you never get around to reading. Take an extra long bath in the morning listening to music. Go for a morning run, or walk the dog. Start writing on a blog that you dreamed of creating, sit and meditate and find peace in the quiet morning hours.  Just do something that makes you really, really happy. You are forbidden to do anything for anyone else during this time. No emails to answer, no housework, no laundry, no lunch making, no bill paying, or anything else that is not complete bliss. This is your time, nobody else's.

2. "Make a budget and stick to it"
Just like we are all advised to make and stick to a budget where money is concerned, we often just put ourselves on autopilot and don't plan where our time will be spent. Make a schedule of your daily, weekly, and monthly "time spending habits." Like a budget, there are the static bills, electricity, food, shelter, cable, phone, etc. Our time "bills" are very much the same. We have work obligations, the commute to work, meetings you need to attend, etc. Those are static "time bills". In future posts I will discuss how to reduce those bills, but for now, they are what they are, you need to deal with them. For the rest, figure out where your top priorities are for spending your extra time, and put them on the calendar. schedule things all the way to bed time. Then stick to that schedule. Make a family movie night in the week and block off a 2 hour spot on the calendar. Schedule a time for supper and clean up, schedule a time to help the kids with the homework, make yourself a time schedule and truly fill up every hour with a plan of how you will spend your time. You will quickly see where and when the wasted time is happening.

Many financial planners will tell you to write down everything you spend your money on before you start an actual budget. I feel that for one week before starting your time budget, just write down for a few seconds in a notebook, everything that is taking your time. EVERYTHING. It seems tedious, but you will quickly see where it is going.

3. "Be a conscious consumer"
We are taught to think about our purchases and ask ourselves if we really need this thing,  but when it comes to our time, very often we consume our time thoughtlessly.  We wish we had more time to read, but we spend time watching TV instead. We say yes to meeting at our child's school, but really we don't want to be there, and they would survive without us. We go out for lunch dates with friends when we don't have time, and really once every few weeks would suffice, but we always say yes because we don't want to hurt their feelings or miss out. Whatever it is that is consuming your extra time, think hard about if you love that "time purchase" or don't. If you are not happy after that purchase...it was not a good one.

4. "Have a long term plan"
Where do you want your time to go? What is your dream? Travel? More time to sleep? More time with friends and family? Plan where you want to be in the long term and how your spare time can help you achieve that goal. Perhaps you wish to change jobs so that you can spend more time with your family. Maybe you wish to travel for several weeks out of the year but it will take a career change. How will you achieve that career change? Perhaps you wish of starting your own business. This is how you will consecrate some of your spare time, in the planning of your future. It takes some money planning too. They do go hand in hand.

5. "Think like an investor"
When investing money, you do it wisely. You ask, "will the payback be good?" Do the same with your time. When you say "yes" to any long term commitment of your time, ask yourself, "Will the payback be worth it?" If you say yes to working in a volunteer group, will you come out of that commitment fulfilled and happy, or drained and scrambling for time in your life? If any investment is not paying great dividends, cash out now. It is a waste of your precious resource. You wouldn't stay invested in a money pit of a company or fund, so why do it with your time?


The most important way to save time, is not to spend it unwisely. We can't create more, so the only thing we can do is waste less of it. Future blog posts will discuss how to waste less and get more out of your twenty-four hours. It is achievable, and when you regain your time, you regain your life.

What are your strategies for managing your time effectively?

Is Minimalism About Decluttering and Owning Less?

                        

Minimalism has become a very hot and in fashion topic in the past few years. There is a growing interest in tiny houses, and people that wish to take on the 100 things or less challenge. There is also a great interest in decluttering and organizing, getting out of debt and downsizing to a simpler and less hectic life.

 There are many reasons why in 2016 people are making a deliberate shift towards minimalism. I feel that we as a western society are just "saturated". We are saturated in consumer debt, which leads us to need to work and work and work just to pay the bills to survive. We are saturated in obligations to our employers, our colleagues, friends, family, children, husbands, and wives. We fill our frustrations, stress and general unhappiness with our jobs that we must do, not necessarily want to do, by consuming more, buying luxury items on credit and going deeper in debt because the outwards appearance of prosperity and abundance makes our chaotic lives seem in control. Everywhere we turn there are advertisements to consume more, to do more, to be more, but the fact is we have all have a limited amount of resources and time at our disposal. Especially time, tomorrow could be the first or last day of the rest of your life so to speak, and that being said, I think that many of us are coming to a breaking point and are starving for a change. Thus the allure of minimalism.

What is minimalism? Is it about getting rid of possessions? Disposing of unused items is a result of the life shift towards a more deliberate and simple life, but it is not what makes a person a minimalist. I read once that owning a statue of the Buddha does not make you a Buddhist any more that owning 100 possessions makes you a minimalist. That really rang true to me. Being minimalist is first deciding what the very most important desire of your life is, whether or not you think it is achievable. Is it your health? Is it your relationships with family and friends? Is it having more solitary time for yourself? Is it travelling? Whatever that desire is, usually other things in life are cluttering our time and using our resources so that our true passion becomes unattainable. Minimalism gets rid of the excess and leaves room for what is the most important to you.  

Where does stuff fit in? Stuff and material holds us to it, it owns us, we don't own it. We need to care for it, store it, or trip over it. We attach importance and memories to our possessions. Many of us derive our artificial sense of self-worth and importance from it. That is why getting rid of any possession that truly does not bring us any level of comfort, usefulness, or joy is not worth keeping in our lives. 

The same goes with non-material things like commitments that occupy your time. Do you love being on the parent's committee or coaching the soccer team, or you said yes, but now feel it taxes your time and you are no longer enjoying it? If you don't enjoy it anymore, stop. And yes, be selfish, don't worry about letting people down, they will survive without you on the parent's committee, they will "get over it". I used to say yes to people's offers, and I just learned to say "Thank you, but my time just does not permit". It is as simple as that. If you were to die from stress tomorrow, they wouldn't have you on the committee anyway, so start thinking about yourself. You have heard it before, that you are no use to anyone if you are not healthy, so your mental sanity and happiness counts towards that health.

You can own a Keurig, and a TV, you can even own skis and camping equipment if you are minimalist... You can own a thousand things as long as those things add value and happiness to your life. If you use them happily, then they belong in your life. The clutter in the hall closet that you know you need to get through and organize doesn't. 

Think about what you love, what you are passionate about, and if there was all the time and money available to you, what would you do with it? That is your first step towards a minimalist life and living with passion.

Laundry and Life Lessons on Organization

 It is easy to get organized but to stay organized is not always easy...things start to return back to their disorderly state. In my quest for more time, I learned a lesson from laundry that I try to apply to the rest of my daily tasks. It is that every task has a start and a finish. If we apply that principle to our daily lives, we will find that we are able to better organize our precious time far more efficiently.

Doing laundry has a set of steps that have a starting point and then have an actual finishing point. The start is collecting the dirty laundry and the end point is the clean laundry being out of sight back in its rightful place in your closet or drawers.  So, how many of us have a basket, or pile of clean laundry still in the laundry room, or in a basket on your bedroom floor?  I used to be the one with the pile of clean clothing in a heap on top of the dryer, and would sometime get around to putting it away....one day...almost never. The clothing actually would just end up getting picked from the pile and worn again and end up in the dirty laundry again before it ever saw a closet.  My bathroom which doubles as a laundry room, basically was almost like a cluttered clothing closet.


When I decided to unclutter everything, my bathroom was actually the first place that I started.  I needed to feel peace when I took my morning shower, and looking over at a pile of clothes on the dryer was not peaceful, it was a reminder that I had unfinished tasks. STRESS. (low grade stress albeit, but stress that can accumulate.)


Therefore, I made it my goal that every task, was to be completed from start to finish. Laundry was to be put in its place as soon as it came out of the dryer. Supper begins with cooking, then eating, cleaning up and all dishes and utensils being put away...no dishes left drying on the counter afterwards. As soon as the dishwasher has finished its cycle, the clean dishes go back in the cupboards. (Sometimes that means first thing in the morning if the dishwasher runs at night, (and really there are no excuses, it takes less than 5 minutes.) Oh and this one I learned from a blog called the FlyLady, I even clean and dry my kitchen sink before bed, when the kitchen sink is clean, it has an effect on the rest of the home, try it, it really is magical.


When I arrive back home from being out, my keys go back in their rightful place, shoes go back into the closet, and coat gets hung up in the same place. When I receive mail, and come in the door with it, it goes onto the table where I take 3 minutes and toss the advertising and then open and file the bills and important papers in a binder. Everything gets sorted through immediately. I have a binder and hole punch near my door on a shelf, no mail goes past that point.


Basically, everything we do, does have a completion point, but so often we only start, or get halfway though. Laundry that is not folded and put away, is not done. You only started the laundry, not finished it. When we adopt the habit of taking the few extra minutes to actually finish the tasks that we start, our lives become more organized and we end up creating more time for ourselves. You know the saying "It takes money to make money, well I believe that it takes a little time to make more time"


Try it with your laundry, and see how it translates into the rest of your day. Now I in fact need to go fold my laundry, I was multitasking when I was writing, and my dryer made its "finished beeps." (I am actually not kidding.)

In your routines, what constitutes "finished" and how do you organize your tasks to completion?

What If I Need It Later? Ways to Let Go of Useless Clutter.

   Do you have a difficult time removing clutter from your home because you are worried you may regret getting rid of an object? You are not alone in that feeling. It is human nature to hold to the security that some objects bring to us. I grew up with parents that used to say to me "waste not-want not". Obviously that mentality stuck, and as I grew older, I would often hold on to things that may have proven useful in the future, even if at the moment, I had no use for it. That belief leads to holding on to antiquated objects that serve to clutter our lives, more than actually being useful.

  I have three main ways that I get over the need to hold on to "stuff".

1. Can I replace it for less than $20 in the future if I absolutely realize I needed it?
    I learned this trick from the minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus on their blog "The Minimalists". Basically if I am not using it, and the question arises if I may need it in the future, I just ask myself if I could replace it for 20 dollars or less. If the answer if yes, it is a definite "get rid of it" moment. It is that easy. I can actually say, I have not yet needed to replace anything I have gotten rid of.

2. If it is of sentimental value, take photos of it and let it go.
    I do think that certain objects that are heirlooms or things that are inherited should never be gotten rid of unless you really don't ever even look at them or they are just stuff you hold on to "because" and you don't really even know why. What use are they to you in a box in the attic? Is it really that sentimental? Is it one of a ton of sentimental objects? At some point when everything feels sentimental, it is time to evaluate their true meaning to you.  I have one medium sized box of a few special objects from my childhood. A ballerina music box my mother bought me when I passed my first ballet exam. Some old diaries that I wrote in as a young girl, and a few other things that bring back some memories. I know the memories are in my heart, but I just have a hard time letting those things go. And really, there is no need to, unless I planned on taking a trip around the world for the next 5 years. Which I am not.
    I did have more objects, that I had memories of too. So, instead of keeping boxes, I took multiple photos of the objects and then gave them away.  I actually look at the photos from time to time when scanning through my picture collection, and that is a lot more than I even did when they were in boxes. They still bring back the memories as strong as they did when they were in my possession
    Try it and see, do this on a few "slightly sentimental" things and then look through the photos a couple of weeks later. If the photos suffice, give away the object.

3. The "I don't know" box.
   I mentioned this one in a previous post. If you really are not sure what to do with the thing, then put it away out of your immediate space and revisit the box in a month. Ask yourself if you really missed it. If the answer is no...you know the drill. (You may need a couple of months to decide, even a year, but if after a year you still have no need, get rid of it.)


Whittling possessions down to the bare minimum is for many people a very emotional process. Cleaning out my plastic container drawer was totally not emotional...well, yes, I suppose it was emotional.  I was joyous tossing and recycling most of my old plastic containers that were way past their prime. I replaced them all with a few pyrex glass storage containers. They will last a long time, and not get all gross and stained from leftover pasta and tomato sauce. (I know it has happened to you) I have 11 glass containers now with matching lids. The drawer is clean and organized. It is actually a miracle...I have never seen my plastic container drawer so perfect in my life. (Small achievements make me happy.)

Good luck with your minimizing, Please share your tips on how you deal with sentimental objects.
 

 

Are You Spamming Your Own Inbox?

Three Ways To Eliminate Email Clutter Quickly

   One great way to create more free time for yourself is to eliminate the need to sort through e-mail.
 Most of us already have "spam" filters on our e-mail clients for eliminating truly unwanted and unsolicited junk email. That isn't what this post is about. It's about the email that we actually said "YES" to somewhere during our travels through the internet, and now we are receiving a lot of weekly newsletters, daily updates, notifications ...the list goes on. Those get mixed in with our actual important email. so just pressing delete on everything may not be the best thing. 

   Side note:  My husband happens to think that deleting everything from his inbox and then deleting email trash is a very neat way to keeping his cellphone in order. Until he needs some important  information that he deleted and then comes and asks me how to get it back. I love him to pieces, but it drives me absolutely insane when he does that. That is over the top minimalist. :)

 There are many ways to sort and classify what comes into your email inbox, most of us don't go into the details of the software options of our email clients, so I won't address those. It is time consuming anyway, to figure out all of those cool options that our software may do for us. I will give you my 3 best tips for how I deal with my email, so I can stay informed with important things as needed, but eliminate a lot of wasted time sorting.

1. Read carefully before you sign up to a website or opt in for newsletters.

Sometimes in order to save time while signing up for an account online, we enter our email address, and password and then just click ok,ok,ok,yes,ok. Mission accomplished, we are signed up. Fast. 

Then comes the flood of newsletters, updates, and admail. You did it to yourself, and more often than not it could have been avoided by just reading carefully and not saying yes to everything that is checked off while signing up. Take your time, and say NO to all newsletters and announcements. (unless of course, you truly want them.)

  -If you already are receiving them, scroll to the bottom of each one and there is usually an "UNSUBSCRIBE" link. Use it, it is your friend.

2. Make an alternate e-mail address for signing up to any websites.

Sign up for a second gmail, yahoo, outlook, or whatever other free web-based email is out there and use it for web-things. You will need to log in online to check it, because you don't want it being pushed to you. Out of sight-out of mind. If you need it to recoup a lost password to a website, it is there, if you do wish to sign up for websites, then you have an email address that if it does get daily updates, it certainly won't be wasting your precious time. Once in a while, go to it and DELETE ALL. (Like my husband does with his primary e-mail.....)

Reserve your primary email that gets pushed to you on your phone, tablet, or computer email-client for important things like family communication, your child's school info, important work related information and so forth. (If you have friends that like to forward you chain-mail type things that you don't like receiving, tell them to use your other address.)

   Number 3 doesn't fall into the minimizing clutter in your inbox category, it's more a time organization tip.

3. Pick a time or times in the day that work for you to read and answer e-mail. 

this is a hard one for me, I run a business and when a potential client e-mails me, I want to reply right away. I leave those things up to your discretion, if it means money, then I would say, reply. Especially during work hours.  

Usually though, I have a quick glance once in a while at my email, and if nobody is in the emergency at the hospital, it can wait. After hours, I really try to turn off the "I am my own boss switch", and pretend my business is far away (although it is next door). It is not only self-employed people that get into that problem though. If you are a very giving and generous person with your time, you will find yourself answering people's emails almost constantly. STOP! Start being a little bit selfish and think of your time as money too. Emotional money, stop getting the time "sucked" out of you. You have 24 hours in a day, you need to make them worth as much as possible.

Those are my top 3, ways that I try to minimize the electronic clutter that comes at me. (There will be a post about paper mail coming soon.) 

How do you deal with your e-mail inbox? I would love to hear your comments and what works for you.

-Jennifer 

Mess Is Stress

   When we hear the term minimalism, some of us think of modern houses with white interiors, walls made with windows from floor to ceiling, rooms sparsely decorated with neutral furniture, clean lines, nothing but a few white shirts hanging in the closet and one pair of shoes on the floor in that closet. Let's not forget the kitchen with nothing on the counters except one plate on a centre island with 3 apples on it. You know, everything that your house isn't.  We have all seen things like that in magazines and in design blogs.

    Now to reality, where there are items in every closet of our houses, kitchen cupboards full of more cups and plates than you really ever use and items in your garage that have been there for a minimum of 2 years or more totally untouched. The list could go on, but we individually know our own homes and the items that we could do with and do without, so I won't go into details of all of the areas in our homes that could use a clean up.

    I once heard the term "Mess Is Stress" but it was when I was younger and had no stress in my life anyways, so I really didn't fully understand the meaning of those three words. Fast forward to my life now, and more than ever I look for ways to simplify and lead the most stress free life possible. Getting rid of the excess clutter in my life is one of those ways. Material possessions have two possible reasons to exist; either they serve us usefully and make our lives better in some way, or they have no use to us, but take up our physical and mental space in the form of clutter and emotional/sentimental attachment. 

   I never quite saw how things could mentally weigh us down until I began to rid myself of unneeded objects and realized just how good it felt to clean out spaces and see them breathe again. To actually see the back of a closet and have space between my clothing is a very accomplished feeling for me. 

That process is really not easy and anyone that finds the "getting rid of stuff" process easy, to me, has amazing superhuman powers. Every item that I take out of a drawer or closet with the goal of not putting it back in, is part of a decision making process. Is this useful? Have I used it lately? Do I really need this? Would I actually buy this today if it was for sale? Should I give this away or keep it to sell? .... Then there is that awful question....What if I need it later? That one is the killer....and so many times the item ends up back on the shelf...because of the fear of getting rid of something I will need later and regret that decision. 

   There are ways to ease into that process, and one that I really find handy is the "I don't know box"

Basically, I purge the contents of a cupboard, drawer or closet, and I put everything that I can't decide on into a box that will go into storage for the next month or so. Then, I will revisit the box, and minimize those contents again. I may have to minimize that box a few times. I am not as good as some people, being able to purge everything in one day. I grew up with the mindset that you should keep things that could prove useful later. And really, there is nothing inherently wrong with that, unless you end up with more "what if" objects than ones you actually do use and then feel a little overwhelmed by the " useless stuff" that you have held onto for such a long time.

  My goal this week is to empty as many closets and cupboards as I can, keep what I always use, give away the unused items that I don't want anymore, sell the valuable ones on ebay, and put the rest into the "I Don't Know Box".

Hopefully my "undecided" boxes won't be too full. Minimalism isn't a religion with strict rules, and I actually find the minimalist movement perhaps a little pretentious in some aspects. I feel that it is sometimes presented in a way that would make those who hold onto objects feel in some ways inferior to those people that are able to live with 100 items or less. I like the thought of the clean white house, with simple lines and open space. Perhaps one day my home might be like that, but most likely it will not. It's a process, if I can clean one cupboard, it's always a positive step in the right direction. Be proud of your progress no matter what it is, as long as you are moving forward, you are on the right path.